


Just Breathe

by Lilly_C



Series: Summer Mini Challenge [34]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Developing Friendships, Episode: s13e22 Strange Beauty, Gen, Headcanon, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Tattoos, luxken27's Summer Mini Challenge, luxken27's Summer Mini Challenge 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:01:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24182536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilly_C/pseuds/Lilly_C
Summary: “Maybe I should have just taken Fin at his word and not asked,” Amanda softly said.
Relationships: Olivia Benson & Amanda Rollins
Series: Summer Mini Challenge [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/102002
Kudos: 3
Collections: 2017 Summer Mini Challenge





	Just Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler for Strange Beauty with a reference to Wrath. Written for the ears prompt on my summer mini challenge [table](https://alittleimprobable.dreamwidth.org/230910.html), and used earshot instead. Any mistakes are my own and unintentional.

Olivia was gathering her things from her desk, preparing to leave for the day and a much needed catch up with her best friend. “That’s good work you two,” Olivia said as Fin exited the squad room, Amanda loitering near her desk watching the dwindling number of detectives until she was certain that there was nobody within earshot of them.

“Is it true?” Amanda asked, uncertain if Fin’s comment about Liv from earlier in the day was genuine.

Olivia glanced at Amanda. “What?”

“That you have a tattoo,” she stated as though her partner’s carefully revealed insights were the gospel of the 16th precinct. 

“Yes, it’s true.” Liv sat down, hoping to ease Amanda’s unnecessary discomfort. “Only two people knew about it until today.”

Suddenly finding the scuff marks on the floor more interesting than prying, Amanda mumbled. “Sorry, it’s none of my business, I just forget that most people have limits on how much they share and who they share with.”

Liv gently placed her hand on Amanda’s arm to reassure her that she hadn’t really overstepped any boundaries with her. “Hey, it’s okay. I got it a few years ago after the Eric Plummer case, which was a particularly difficult time for me that I don’t want to get into everything that happened tonight.”

“What do you want to tell me?” Amanda asked, instantly regretting the way she had phrased the question. “Shit…”

Liv let out a shaky breath before speaking. “It was initially a wrongful conviction case until Plummer was released and he then killed four people. I shot him, and it was investigated as a suicide by cop case.”

“Maybe I should have just taken Fin at his word and not asked,” Amanda softly said.

“I remember feeling really numb, almost like I wasn’t present and found a still sharp razor in the bathroom I slid to the floor, leant against the tub and cut until I passed out. Of course I’d ignored almost everyone that night except for Alex because she had a key, came in and stemmed the blood as best as she could manage then she took me to the emergency room to get the deepest wounds stitched.”

“Bet she was pissed...”

“The opposite actually. She was really understanding and when I was eventually discharged she took me home and we talked about a lot of things including the way that I had let that case get inside my head.”

“So the tattoo?”

“Is on my ribs and very easily hidden.”

“How does Fin know?”

Liv gently chuckled. “He and Alex came with me on the day I got it to make sure that I didn’t chicken out.”

“I went alone to get mine and as you’ve probably heard mine is my name in white ink, what’s yours?”

“Mine is just breathe with a dandelion clock slowly blowing away. A reminder to breathe and re-centre myself whenever I have the urge to self harm.”

“Does it help you? I mean, do you still?” Amanda stumbled over her words.

“Sometimes it helps. Not as often as I used to and I usually talk to Alex or Fin when things get too much for me.

**Author's Note:**

> Liv having a discrete tattoo is purely headcanon.


End file.
